


Only Idiots Fall in Love with a Stranger

by insanityaligned



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drinking, Fluff, M/M, Mild Language, friendship to feelings, no one dies yay, or not yet idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-03 09:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanityaligned/pseuds/insanityaligned
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Jaeger's just a lonely kid trying to earn a little bit of extra money. It's only the second day on the job and his mind's already spinning out of control when a man he barely knows makes his heart beat fast and his breath catch in his throat. If only he could put aside his dumb teenage boy pride and admit he's falling head over heels for him. You've got a lot to learn, kid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Maybe Second Days Aren't All That Bad

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So, this is my first SnK fanfic and my first time writing as Eren/Levi so please bear with me! 
> 
> So to be honest, I'm writing as I go and with school and such, it'll be a long ride. But the idea's fresh in my head as of now and I've got a lot going for it so expect pretty frequent updates. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Yesterday was shit.

Today was tolerable.

And the days ahead… let’s just say I’m not looking forward to them.

The again, there isn’t exactly much a seventeen year old high school drop-out can look forward to when he’s working on minimum wage at a little fast-food restaurant at the outskirts of town. Trust me, I know it full well.

Well, it was either Mikasa or me. Knowing she’d actually get a shot at having a good job/education one day, I didn’t really have any other choice but to drop. I just wished that maybe, maybe, it wouldn’t have to end up like this.

Unfortunately, like always, luck has never really been on my side.

After dad ditched us, life’s been kinda crappy. I’m not saying life with him around was a walk in the park, as it wasn’t, but when the main source of money in the house decides to walk away one day, taking his doctor’s degree with him, everything’ll start going downhill from there.

Like way downhill.

Guess I’m just gonna have to suck it up and take it like a man.

Starting today.

\---

The second day of work, or school, or anything really, seems to have the consistent label of ‘even worse than the first one.’

Sometimes it isn’t true. But for me, walking through those doors and being hit with the immediate smell of grease and caffeine being masked by the scent of cheap cleaning supplies, only reminded me that this would be the life I’d be living for the next year or so. Or, all in all, the second day here started terribly.

Opening started in just over forty-five minutes. There appeared quite a few people there before me, which I found comforting, as yesterday I’d shown up an hour early, outside in the cold before someone with a key came to my rescue.

Not typically how I imagined my first day of work to go, but it was satisfying to know I kept the job for more than a couple hours.

I slipped on an apron, fumbling with the tie on the back. Giving up, I fished a towel out of a bin, dampening it before setting out to give the tables a quick wipe prior to opening.

It wasn’t long before I found myself sitting at a table with my feet propped up, the towel lying abandoned beside them. I peeked at the clock.

8:50.

I took out my phone, thinking I might as well take advantage of the free time I had, no matter how short.

_1 unread text message._

Strange. Mikasa was at school, Armin was away, and there wasn’t anyone else that found it worthwhile to contact me. Curious, I opened it.

_Family emergency. I’ll be gone for a few weeks. I took the car. Make sure that Mikasa got this. Walk home and stay safe. Love you- Mom xxx_

Family emergency? It must’ve been pretty bad if mom left Mikasa and I the house to ourselves. We were trustworthy enough but, well, we’ve all seen the movies.

By now, most teenagers would probably take it upon themselves to plan some big ‘party of the year’. It just so happens that I don’t have enough friends, no…acquaintances, to host one.

To be honest, friends didn’t come as easily as I would have liked them too. Armin, of course, was an exception but even he left after a while. Off on a scholarship to some fancy school in Europe while I’m left here waiting tables for a living. What a life.

The ‘waiting tables’ part wasn’t as eventful today as it was yesterday. Thursday’s are the so-called ‘lazy days’ for the restaurant so it wasn’t much of a job so much as a leisure session. But hey, as long as I’m getting paid for it, I’m not complaining.

It was well in the afternoon, however, when I started contemplating about whether or not to got home. It wasn’t worth staying. There wouldn’t be any more customers and aside from the boss and a couple others, everyone else had left a while ago, deeming the place closed for the day.

I stretched, cringing when I heard cracks, and shrugged on my jacket. Conveniently enough, I’d already said I’d be leaving so there’d be no need to inform any more people.

I just made it a few feet away from the door when it opened. A small man, not much older than me, casually strolled inside, taking his time to assure himself that he wasn’t trailing dirt into the place. Completely ignoring my presence, he took a seat. The man opened up a small journal and started scribbling down something on the half-filled pages.

Feeling a little insulted, I called after him. “Hey, you know we’re closed right?”

Our eyes locked. His eyes were a steel gray color. Unusual, but the gaze was powerful enough to make me shrink back a few steps. “Sign outside says you’re still open.”

I stood up a little taller, regaining my composure. “Well we might as well be closed. Place’s deserted already.”

“You work here, eh? Mind going inside there and getting me a drink? Small coffee, no sugar, hold the cream.” He gestured towards the kitchen door. I found it a little unnerving that his expression never changed.

I stood my ground. I wasn’t going anywhere.

“It’s your job. Get to it, brat.” The way he annunciated the last word set me off grumbling to myself on the way to the kitchen.

A few heads turned towards me as I plugged in the coffee maker again. A few looked like they wanted to acknowledge me but decided against it when I shot them a glare.  
I didn’t mean to terrorize them. I just didn’t have a way of holding my anger down.

“Hey!” I called. “You’ve gotta lot of nerve comin’ in here after hours and telling me how to do my job.”

Steel gray on blue-green eyes was enough to make me shy away for a while. It didn’t mean I was completely over it, just enough to steer clear for a bit. I opted to take a seat on the opposing side of the room after serving him. He didn’t do as much as even utter a sign of gratitude.

Asshole.

I folded my hands under my chin and waited. I didn’t like him already. He gave off some kind of a vibe I didn’t like. Something of authority, like the kind of demeanor you’d get from a military official but colder. I peeked a glance at him, surprised when I caught him looking back.

“H-hey, creep!”

Call me crazy, but I think I saw a small smirk escape his lips. I stomped over to his seat, slamming my hands flat on the table. “What?” I spat.

Whatever kind of sad attempt at grin he had was wiped off his face in an instant and replaced with his seemingly normal deadpan expression. I felt my breath catch in my throat. From far away, he looked reserved and shady– the kind of person parents would his their child from because he appeared suspicious. Up close, it was different.

He had sleek black hair that shined in the sunset's light from the window. It was an undercut but his bangs were growing long and fell over his eyes. It looked so soft. I almost wanted to reach out and touch it, run my hands through it. But that's creepy.

His eyes, probably the first thing I noticed, looked dull and gray, like the emotion had been sucked out of them. As I looked closer, I could see flecks of blue. There was something more in those orbs that I couldn't put a name on. But damn, they were _gorgeous._ His eyelashes were dark, creating the perfect contrast on his skin. 

Dark circles, most likely permanent, stood out like ink on paper on his white skin. He's older but I assume not by much, or at least by his young looking complexion it seemed so. He doesn't make up for that it height. When he walked in, I measured him to be about up to my shoulder. However, his shoulders were broad and under his clothes definitely lay some muscle and— this was getting weird. 

All in all, I would say he’s pretty good looking. Okay kidding. He was really attractive. Just my luck that I probably looked terrible today. Damn. 

He wore all black. A jacket over a designed t-shirt. His jeans, not sagging, fit him well, not too tight and definitely not too baggy. 

Suddenly, I felt extremely self-conscious in my un-ironed white shirt and dark pants. All made even worse with the ugly striped apron I had on. I brushed off my clothes a little in a failed attempt to make myself more presentable. 

“What?” I pried again, a little less harshly this time.

“You’re just a little brat. Shouldn’t someone like you be at school?” He tentatively sipped at his coffee, giving a small grimace as if unsatisfied with the taste. But he dismissed it as quick as it came and turned his attention back to me. 

I fought down the urge to whip up a snappy remark. But I felt that being rude to customers could kick me back onto the unemployment list. “Don’t you have anywhere else to be?”

“Never have, never will.”

Suddenly I felt bad. Maybe he didn’t have a home. I quickly scanned him, praying he didn’t notice. He looked pretty well off– definitely not a person that looked particularly homeless. But he didn’t look too too well off either. Shit. Maybe I fucked up.

“Got a name, kid?” He said eyeing the non-existent name tag on my shirt. 

“W-what?”

He rolled his eyes. “A name. You got one?”

“Oh, y-yeah. Uh… Eren.”

“That’s it? Don’t have a last name?” He said, raising an eyebrow.

I let out a groan of frustration. He’s more annoying than I thought he’d be. “Jaeger. Eren Jaeger.”

“Nice name.” Was the only response I got. I slipped into the seat next to him, resting my head on the table. We sat there in an uncomfortable silence for a while. When I say a while, I mean literally 15 minutes of pure unsettlement. Occasionally, I’d find my gaze flickering back at him, only to see him nonchalantly sipping his coffee every now and then. It hit me then, I didn’t even know his name.

“How ‘bout you?” I asked.

He slowly lowered the cup from his lips, watching me as if to say ‘repeat the question.’

“What’s your name?”

“Levi. Just Levi.”

I nodded in acknowledgement, as another bout of silence started to fall. Not wanting to sit through another 15 minutes of hell, I cleared my throat. “Weather’s nice today, eh?”

Crap. That’s never a good conversation starter.

He raised an eyebrow. “It looks pretty shitty outside if you ask me.” He cast a quick glance at the window, which was, unfortunately, splattered with rain.

“Fuck. Sorry, that’s not what I meant to say.” I mentally berated myself for being suck a fucking idiot and attempted again.

“Um…” I bit down hard on my lip. “Where’re you from?”

“West side of town. All the way at the other end.”

I racked my mind for an image of the place. I barely ever go there. All I can recall is poorly paved roads and dirty apartment complexes. Is that really where he lived? In denial, I went to look over him again, blushing when he caught me staring.

“Like what you see?”

“W-what no! It wasn’t–“

“Thought so.”

I fell silent. I felt blood draw on my lips and quickly wiped it away with my tongue. The metallic taste wasn’t something I preferred but it was better than letting my lip bleed all over the place.

“So…Have you lived there your entire life?”

A nod. “How about you, Jaeger? You’re too young to have a house of your own, eh? Let alone with this shitty job an–“

“Hey! Shut your mouth, shorty!” The insult didn’t seem to affect him as much as I would’ve liked. But when I saw his jaw set, I felt a wave of satisfaction. Two could play at that game.

His lack of manners definitely topped off his impulsive state. Maybe it was a side affect of growing up in the trashy side of town. Or maybe it was just him. The latter seemed the most promising to me as some people I knew from the west end turned out pretty nice.

“I’m being truthful, you know. Jobs like these don’t pay all too well. I know first-hand. You’d never scrape up enough cash to buy yourself a place with that salary. But anyways, as I asked earlier before I got rudely shoved off track, shouldn’t a boy like you be at school?”

“I don’t go to school anymore.”

“So is that why you’re here? You trying to earn more money?”

“I’m doing my best,” I grumbled.

He dug around his pockets for something, seemingly unimpressed when he didn’t find it. The man, Levi, stuffed the notebook into his coat pocket and stood up. “I know what it’s like kid. Been doing that my whole life now.”

“Wait, what?”

But he was already making his towards the door. I looked back at the table to find his cup still sitting there, empty now but… I ran after him. 

“Hey! You have to pay for that!”

"Just put the bill under 'Zoë.'" Was the only thing he said before disappearing.

_He’ll come back to pay for it tomorrow._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Second chapter's up! It's shorter than the first one but i promise it's not a bad thing!

Levi.

A name, a face, and a general area of residence. That’s about as much as I could pick up from our conversation.

I found myself fascinated by him. Obsessed. Utterly infatuated with a man I’d only talked to once. I couldn’t tell if it was the way his dull eyes were the most interesting and expressive part of him. Or how his cheekbones were pronounced in a way that made him look extremely good. Or how…No…Goddammit, this was getting weird.

I always waited for him to come back for a chance to talk to him again. From the other staff members, I collected that he was a regular here. Every Tuesday and Thursday he’d come into the restaurant right before closing and order the same thing. Apparently, he didn’t even pay anymore. The others didn’t say anything about it and he never got in trouble. I contemplated being the first one to tell, as it would be the ‘right thing to do.’ But everyone else told me against it. So I ended up being one of them. Somehow, I didn’t regret it.

Levi always sat at the same table, sipping at his coffee before it got too cold, and stopping every now and then to scrawl out another note in his notebook. I never knew what he was writing as I never bothered to ask. I haven’t uttered a word to him since that first day. 

I always meant to. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to. Truthfully, I don't think he'd care if I kept on avoiding him just as I'd been doing. He kept me in low regard, only speaking to me when necessary as if prolonged activity to humans was too much.

If that was the case, I respect that, but if only just once; I'd like the opportunity to talk to him.

I think it's nerves keeping me away. If I could muster up the courage, I wouldn't waste a second. What was wrong? Why can't I do this? It infuriated me.

I can do it.

No, I can't.

I can.

I can't.

I can.

\---

"What're you writing?"

He closed his book, straightening his back when I appeared behind him, as if appearing to be hiding something. I raised my hands in self-defense when he stared at me.

"None of your business, _Eren,_ " He spat. 

"Is it a diary?" I joked, sitting down.

"Oh, fuck no." He stuffed it back into his pocket, checking to make sure it was secured before turning his attention back at me.

"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me." 

The kick me under the table was strong enough that I was almost certain he could have fractured my shin if he put any more power into it. 

"Shut the fuck up."

"What was that for?" I said through gritted teeth. 

"You know perfectly well." He eyed my form. "Oh, stop overreacting. It wasn't even a strong kick."

The look I gave him must have been priceless as no matter how hard he tried, it was almost impossible to mask the smirk edging its way onto his face. 

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

"Do you want me to kick you again? Because it won't be on the leg next time."

I immediately shook my head in response. I rested my head in my hands, burying my head in my collar. "That hurt." 

"Get over it."

Apparently, uncomfortable silences weren't uncommon around us. It’d be all chatter one moment then absolute silence the next. I had no intention of breaking it this time, mostly because I didn't have anything to discuss at the moment.

"What do you want, brat?"

"What?" 

He groaned in frustration. "What do you want? No one simply _walks_ up to me without a specific reason."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like me to bring a roll-up carpet, a bouquet, and a giant trophy award for 'world's biggest dickwad' next time?" 

"That would be preferable, yes." He said flatly.

I let out a cry of annoyance. "Why can't you take a joke? You take everything too seriously! It's called _sarcasm._ "

"I wasn't being sarcastic."

"You're so annoying!"

"I'm aware."

It was then I actually wondered why I wanted to talk to him if I knew that this was how things were going to end up anyway. A reaction like that was inevitable. To avoid it would be a godsend. 

“Why do you always come here anyway?”

“Because the coffee’s good. Well, it was until…” He eyed me, as if to say ‘it’s you, you’re the problem.’

“Christ, did your parents ever teach you manners?” 

He went rigid, swallowing heavily. I fucked up–I hit a soft spot. “I-I’m sorry…” My stomach dropped to the floor in despair. I just felt so goddamn _guilty._

“What are you apologizing for, brat?” His tongue ran over the front of his teeth as he sipped a little at his coffee.

A strange tension was building up in the room again. My head rested on the table’s surface as I kicked my feet repeatedly against the leg, trying to coax him into opening up another conversation. For a moment, the only sound was the collective noise of our breathing, just him and me. “So…uh…”

“Goddammit, kid, you look so fucking _hurt._ You’re making me pity you.” He caught the underside of my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. His eyes looked serious but there was a certain kind of softness in them that made me relax just a little bit. 

“For fuck’s sake, cheer up, kid.” I felt my breath hitch inside my throat. We were so close together. Almost so close that I could–

“I can’t look at you anymore,” He stood up. “I’m going to the toilet. Don’t fucking touch my stuff.”

And then there was one. Somehow, I hated this type of silence even more than the ones before. I felt lonely, incomplete, as if his presence next to me somehow completed me. It made the silence seem meaningful, fuller. In the back of my mind, I felt as if the prolonged silence was important; it’d be something I– _we’d_ never outgrow. It was something that only we understood as we sat there in wordless conversation. And it made my heart swell. 

My eyes flickered to the notebook he left lying on the table. It was a measly little thing, obviously loved and probably filled almost to its capacity. It was falling apart at the spine and looked so fragile it made me wonder how he managed to keep it from falling apart in his coat pocket. _Don’t fucking touch my stuff._ I heard his warning. But somehow, it felt natural to disobey it. 

The curiosity got the best of me and I reached a hesitant hand towards the worn cover. It hovered a little above the notebook, before finally opening it.

_What the hell?_

Pages and pages of ink on paper lay before me. The strokes he left were careful and neat, occasionally leaving a scrawled title over the top. But they weren’t even words.

It was music. Notes that I didn’t even understand filled up the pages, probably summing up to be some kind of beautiful tune or haunting refrain. But I could tell he didn’t just make this up as he went. There were scratched out measures, even ripped pages from when he grew frustrated. He’d spent precious time composing these and suddenly, I felt as if I was invading on something private.

“What the fuck did I say, brat?”

I slammed the book closed. “I was–I’m sorry…I-“

An irritated groan escaped his lips but there was something new in his eyes– something of forgiveness. “I’ll give you one more chance, kid. Next time you do that and–“ His hand made a long gesture under his chin.

“Yes, sir.” I mumbled.

He snatched up the book, running his finger carefully across the spine. It was placed into his pocket before I could say another word. I saw him gather up his things, throwing the empty coffee cup away.

“W-wait,” I blurted out,

“Hm?”

“What do you play?”

“None of your business, brat.” He replied with a sense of finality. 

“But¬–“

“Look, I have to get going. Maybe some other time?”

I cast a downward gaze. He couldn’t leave yet. He just got here. I _wanted_ to talk to him. I didn’t wait a week only to have him there for little over half an hour. I wanted to sit there all day talking to him if I could– if he let me. But the odd thing was, I felt strangely comfortable around him. Like that cold demeanor wasn’t much to be terrified of if you dig deep enough. It’s possible he could just be going shopping or something like that. Maybe he’d let me go with him…“Where are you going?” 

He paused. “Why do you care?”

“I was just…never mind…” I was stranger. Nothing but a random ‘brat’ that works at a coffee shop. He’d never agree to anything I say. 

“Spit it out, Jaeger.”

I shook my head.

“Fine.” He took the pen out of his pocket and fished a napkin from the dispenser, quickly jotting down something else. He clicked the pen and threw his message at me. 

I peeked at the message. _His phone number._ “Um…Thanks.”

“Just in case you finally decide to stop being a secretive little shit.”

“I wasn’t being–“

“Go home, kid. It’s getting late.”

My stomach bubbled with a newfound giddiness. _It was just a number. It’s not like he asked you if you wanted his dick up your ass, geez Eren, don’t get so excited._ But the feeling never faded and a smile weaved itself onto my face.

“What are you smiling about?”

The grin widened. “Nothing.” I laughed.

The last thing I saw of him that day was a blush adorning his cheeks and the flustered look he made as he tried to hide it under the rim of his scarf.

The feeling never went away. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, new chapter. Not much to say here....Enjoy!
> 
> (Note: The next chapter will come out a little late. Writer's block, sorry.)

“Do you think I could get a broken leg from getting kicked?” I said, setting my bag down and flopping on the couch to roll up my pant leg to examine the damage.

Mikasa sat down next to me, the look on her face concerned. “I don’t think so why?” I could see the protective side of her making an appearance.

I stared at the bruise, casually poking at hit every now and then. It hurt like a bitch and something told me it’s be staying with me for the next couple of weeks before disappearing. 

“I’m okay, Mikasa! I promise. Someone bumped into me at work today is all.” I assured her, rolling out my pants again. Sure, I lied but I didn’t exactly want Levi getting hunted down. 

The response I gave sounded unconvincing but she let it go. What’s with people letting me off the hook so easily today? First Levi then Mikasa. I shouldn’t be getting special treatment. Or maybe they just pity me. If I recall correctly, Levi had told me that that afternoon. I forced back a grin.

“How was school?”

She pulled her hair back, gathering excess strands to finish the ponytail. “Pretty good. Some asshole set off a fire alarm during chemistry and we all had to stand outside in the wind and cold for like an hour, but other than that, I guess it was fine.” 

I laughed. “Doesn’t that only happen in the movies?”

“Evidently not.” She leaned against the kitchen doorframe. “How about you? You seem exceptionally happy today.”

“Good day at work I guess.”  
“Well that’s good…are you enjoying the job?”

I took a deep breath. “It could be better…but yeah, it’s okay.”

“That’s good.”

I gave a couple slow nods in response. It wasn’t a lie. Once you got past the fact that this was the piss poor job you were doing for a living, it wasn’t so bad. As Levi said, pay wasn’t the greatest and the day was pretty slow with only the occasional customers coming around here and there. It could be worse.

“Hey, do you want dinner?” She said, head peering out from the kitchen.

I shook my head. “Nah, I’ll just heat up some pizza later or something.”

She gave me a disapproving look. “Don’t starve.”

“I won’t…Do you know when mom’s coming back?”

“My cooking isn’t that bad you know,” She joked even though I could sense a hint of seriousness in her tone. “And, I don’t know. She’ll probably message you sometime before she does though.”

“Okay.” I grabbed my computer off the other side of the sofa. She jumped when I entered the kitchen, rummaging through a cabinet.

“What are you looking for?” She asked suspiciously.

“Beer.”

“What? Eren, you’re _underage._ ”

“Well someone’s gotta drink it, right?” I found a bottle, popping off the cap and throwing it into the bin. I took a swig, feeling the alcohol slide easily down my throat. “Ahh,” I sighed. 

“ _Eren!_ ” She hissed. 

“Oh don’t get your panties in a twist. I’m responsible, right?”

Her fists clenched and unclenched, clearly unsettled by the situation. I heard her swallow, as if holding down the urge to protest against my actions. 

“I’ll be in my room if you need me.” 

I didn’t even wait for a response before trudging up the stairs.

My room didn’t look too terribly bad compared to what it would have been if I had all the say in what went into it. A twin bed was tucked into the corner with green sheets haphazardly dressing it. The walls were a plain beige, the ceiling white. There were a couple band posters adorning the walls from my ‘phase’ as Mikasa called it. Some unwashed laundry was piled into another corner next to one of my dressers. The dressers were surprisingly neat, with a couple little trinkets and such on top. A virtually empty closet took up another corner, the stuff in it not even mine, but Mikasa’s. The curtains were drawn so that only a sliver of light could peek inside. 

Home sweet home.

Not bothering with the lights, I flopped onto the bed, opening my computer. The screen flashed bright against the contrast of the dark room. 

I liked it like this. It calmed me a little after the stress of work. It was nice sometimes to be alone. But unlike other times, for some reason this silence made me uncomfortable. Side effect of being around Levi, I guess. Silence was great and all, but much too common for my own good. I inserted the earphones in my ear.

I called Armin.

It was late there– in Europe. Probably around midnight, if I’m not wrong. But I hadn’t talk to him in what seemed like forever and I was itching to video chat him ever since Levi left that day. 

Levi.

He never left my mind. Somehow, I always found my thoughts wandering back to him. It was an obsession. An unhealthy one at that. 

“Eren?”

“Armin!” That’s the last thing I expected to hear come out of my headphones. “What the hell? I didn’t think you’d answer! What time is it there?”

I saw him glance behind him where I assumed there was a clock. “Like one o’ clock in the morning.”

“Jesus Christ, Armin! What the hell are you doing?”

“Work…”

“I swear you haven’t changed. You know, being a workaholic can’t be good for you.”

He laughed a little. “I know. But I’ve got a thesis paper due soon that I need to do some final adjustments on.”

“Yeah, but at one A.M.?

He shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“So you did work? What would your Grandpa think?” 

“He’s sound asleep. You know old people and their tendency to get tired pretty easily.”

“ _Still._ ” I protested.

“Shut up.” I could distinctly feel the imaginary push on my shoulder followed by me putting him into a playful headlock. My heart ached. _I miss him._

“So what’s up?” He said, clearly distracted by something on his screen.

“I met someone. Well, I already knew him but I talked to him again today.” 

“Him?”” He smirked, “Tell me more about this _‘him’_.” He joked. Armin knew about my sexuality. He was the first one I told. He was completely okay with it and for that I was happy I had someone to talk to. 

“You know, sometimes, you’re really goddamn annoying.” I said, taking a drink from the bottle. 

“Just talk.”

I propped myself up on my elbows. _Where do I start?_ I explained everything best I could, trying not to leave out any little details, frequently going back to add them in as I went if I did. I spoke as he analyzed, no, _over-analyzed_ every minor point in my story. I explained every thought, feeling, action that happened in those short periods of time. 

Occasionally, I looked over to see him smiling, getting angry when he wouldn’t tell me why. He said he was ‘thinking of the possibilities’, whatever the fuck that meant. But nevertheless, the tale continued right up until this very moment. 

When I finally stopped talking, I felt strange. As if I had just woken up from a dream, except for the fact that the giddy feeling returned. It was a weird kind of sensation and the muscles in my face ached from being held in a smile for so long. I picked up the bottle to take another drink, surprised to find it empty. 

“I think…” Armin’s voice pulled me out of little dream world. 

“What?” 

He burst into a fit of laughter. “Armin, Jesus Christ, tell me!” He collapsed onto his keyboard, gasping for air, sending me incoherent strings of messages when he leaned on the keys. 

“Armin!”

“S-Sorry, sorry!” He said, wiping a tear from his eye. “I just–“

“Don’t you dare make me sit here again listening to you cackle.”

He choked back another laugh. “I do not _cackle_ ,” he said defensively.

“That’s debatable. Maybe next time I’ll record it so that you can listen to yourself.” I said, suppressing one of my own. 

“Don’t you dare.”

“I will if you don’t tell me what you think.”

“Okay, okay! I’m getting to that.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, turning up the volume in my ear buds so I knew that I wasn’t going to misinterpret things if he spoke too quietly. A large smile spread across his face. “I think…”

“Armin, don’t do this again. I swear to god if you–“

“I think you’re in love.”

The words struck me like a bullet. I could feel my cheeks redden considerably. My heart sped up, breath catching. 

_In love?_

“You know I’ve only talked to him, like, twice?” I laughed nervously. 

“I’m no ‘love genius’ but I’ve had my fair share of dealing with relationships already. And going off of that, well, sounds like it to me.”

“But it’s not like that I promise!” I exclaimed, flustered. 

He put his hands up in surrender. “Hey, don’t look at me like that! I’m just going off of what _you_ said.”

“I never said I was in love!”

“Why are you acting so defensive? I never said it was true!”

I fell back onto the bed, placing my computer to the right of me. 

“Eren…Eren, I’m closing the call if you don’t respond right now.”

I didn’t hear the groan of frustration that came with the sound of the call being ended. I didn’t feel anything really. Whatever emotions I had were mixed up. I was confused, my brain was confused, my whole fucking _existence_ was confused.

It was stupid. I never even let that thought cross my mind when I thought about him. It was all Armin’s fucking fault for making me ever think about it that way. Levi was just a friend, acquaintance at the least. And I wasn’t about to let that be ruined by a fucking _crush_ that he probably didn’t even return the feelings for. It was complete bullshit.

But Armin did say he never said it was true. Which was one thing he got right. He never said it outright; it was just his opinion. It couldn’t have been true I couldn’t help but keep those words fresh in my mind. _Could it be true? Am I the one lying to myself?_

No.

Two meetings aren’t enough to judge anything. Neither were any memories of Levi. Whether it be his voice, or the touch of his hand on my chin. Or his lips, seeming so soft and nice and and _kissable_ on his thin face. Or his eyes. His god dammed perfect, gorgeous fucking eyes that left me struggling to breathe when he looked at me with them. 

Not even the thought of his hands lingering on my body, touching me, and sending shivers down my spine was enough to–

Fuck. I _was_ in love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took a little longer to write this! Writers block's a bitch and I had a bunch of homework this week. It'll be harder to update before the Christmas break so updates until then might be a little slow. 
> 
> Just a note: Levi's around late twenties to early thirties in the story. Eren's almost 18. 
> 
> I'm tracking the tumblr tag insanityaligned.

_levi we need to talk_

_who is this?_

_eren_

_what do you want?_

_can you meet me in front of the coffee shop tomorrow afternoon?_

_no way. i’ve got a life outside of you._

“Goddammit!” I threw my phone across the room, uncaring when I heard a loud thump hit the wall. 

It’d be another week before I see him again. I couldn’t wait a week. I needed to talk to him now and in person. But all I had was a shitty phone number. I guess I could call him, but it’s the risk of him hanging up and never talking to me again that was keeping me away. It’s not like I could just walk up to any random house in the west end and bet my luck that maybe it was his because that was the stupidest fucking idea I’ve ever come up with.

“Eren?” I heard footsteps running up the stairs. My door flew open with such force I thought the hinges might break. Mikasa stood in the doorframe, eyes wide and panting heavily, her hair falling out of its elastic. 

“Yeah?” I said casually, masking the emotions I felt. “You need anything?”

“Jesus Christ, I thought you hurt yourself!” She placed her hands on my shoulders and looked over me to make sure I didn’t. “What was with the yell? Are you okay?”

I pull away from her, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yeah, yeah. I’m okay.”

She crawled into the bed, sitting next to me. “You’re not sick are you?” Her hand flew to my forehead.

“No! God, Mikasa, you’re overreacting.” I tried to reassure her that everything was okay. I didn’t want to tell her about Levi. Not yet, at least. I wanted to sort things out before I started broadcasting anything. 

She nodded laying her head on my shoulder. My fingers weaved through her hair soothingly. And for a moment, it wasn’t Mikasa. I saw myself in her place, Levi the one running his hands over my head, as he placed soft and gentle kisses on top. 

I blushed, turning away so that Mikasa wouldn’t notice. Thankfully, I don’t think she did but I could never be too careful.

“I talked to Armin.”

She shifted into my lap. “Really? What did he say?”

“Not much really. He was being kind of a dick.”

“How so? That doesn’t seem like him.” A curious glint caught in her eyes, a smile escaping her lips.

“He was going on about me being in love and-“ I caught myself before saying anything else.

“In love?”

“You’re just like him, you know that?” I said, hitting her arm lightly. 

She laughed. “Just curious.”

“It’s not true.” I grumbled, fiddling with the ends of my sleeves. You know, I’m not really sure if that applies anymore. It can’t not be true but I don’t think I’ve processed it enough for my mind to comprehend it just yet. It’s not like I was completely over the fact I more likely than not had a crush on Levi or if it could even be considered a ‘crush’ at all. It was more of a desperate kind of plea– unlike the typical high school crush. Or my typical high school crushes anyway. 

“Sure, sure…did you eat?”

I shook my head. “Not yet.” 

A surprised expression crossed her face. “Well come on then! Up! I’m not getting blamed for having you starved.” She tugged at my arm, dragging my sorry ass down the stairs, having to catch me a couple of times when my tired feet failed on me.

I actually did end up just heating up some left over frozen pizza from last week. It was far too late to actually bother making anything that would take more than 5 minutes. Or maybe my laziness was taking a toll on me again. 

As soon as I sat down, Mikasa was all over me with conversation, very unlike her but I was thankful I wouldn’t have to sit there and have her watch me eat in silence. The thought of that made me shudder.

“So what’s with Armin and this ‘love’ business?”

“Mikasa, come on, now’s not the time to be discussing this.” I said swallowing a bite of food. 

“I don’t believe you when you say it’s not true, you know.”

“Mikasa, please just–“

“Boy or girl?”

“ _Mikasa!_ ” I dropped the half-eaten pizza back onto the plate. 

She laughed. “You know I’m just joking around. If you say it’s not true then I believe you.”

_Yeah, but it doesn’t mean you have the right to pester me about it._ “Yeah, okay.”

I wiped my hands on my pants and started towards my room again, half eaten pizza hanging out of my grasp. I stopped mid-stride. “Mikasa…”

“Yes?”

“What does it feel like to be in love?”

“You expect me to know?” She said, raising an eyebrow. 

I rolled my eyes at her, expecting an answer sooner or later. She had to know. It was her that told me time and time again in middle school that she had a crush on someone she claimed to be in love with. She probably felt ashamed about it now but nevertheless, she experienced it.

She took a deep breath. “It’s like…hmm…your heart flutters with excitement and nervous-ness and everything in between. And you can’t help but smile when you think of them. Then when they talk about something they’re passionate about, sometimes you don’t even listen to what they’re saying but instead, focus on the spark in their eyes when they smile or the little gestures they make with their hands or–“

“God, girls are so fucking cheesy.” I walked up the stairs, finishing the rest of the slice. 

“You asked, I gave.” She pointed out.

“And you say you don’t know.”

“Shut up, asshole.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her follow me up the stairs. _Can’t a guy get any privacy?_ I turned to her when I reached the top. “Can I help you?”

“Why do you ask?” That curious glint resided in her eyes again. 

_Dammit Mikasa, leave me alone._ Of course, it took all of my willpower not to say that out loud in fear of getting punched all the way back down the stairs. She could supply enough power in a hit my grandchildren would probably feel it. I found my mind wandering back to Levi agai–

“Eren, hello?” A hand waved in front of my face. I blinked.

“What…”

“Why did you ask me what it felt like to be in love?” She repeated.

I swallowed. “S-so I could find other ways to prove Armin wrong.” If that could have sounded any more unconvincing than it did, I’d be really fucking surprised. Nevertheless, I tipped my chin up, cracked a smile, and hoped she’d buy it. 

“If you say so.” Her voice wasn’t serious at all when she started back down the steps. 

“Do you think Armin’ll still be up now?” I called, hand on the doorknob.

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Eren, please. Don’t call him, that’s rude. Send him a message or something. He’ll see it when he wakes up.”

“Fine, fine,” I slammed the door a little too hard going back into my room. _She knows…she knows…Crap. I’m a fucking idiot._

My back slid down the door and my face found it’s way into my hands. _Way to go, Jaeger._ That was stupid. I was stupid. I was being so fucking obvious it hurt to think about it. 

But why was I so scared? It’s not like it was the first time I had a crush. She knew about countless times I’ve been in ‘love.” But even then, I’m not so sure it was anything as serious as this. Middle school love isn’t exactly the best example of romantic feelings. 

This was no middle school crush. This was real. This was me and this was him. Whether or not he’d return the feelings would always be a mystery to me as I tear myself apart for not saying anything about it to him. Because face it, I wouldn’t be able to muster up the courage to tell him how I felt if I could barely even put enough of it together to talk to him earlier. 

“Damn it…” 

I had a long road ahead of me. With Armin _and_ Mikasa knowing, I already knew I’d be constantly asked for progress reports on ‘how my relationship is going.’ And each time, I’d say I hadn’t gotten anywhere. And each time, they’d pester me to make a move if I knew that he wouldn’t. But what if he rejected me? What if this wasn’t my happy ever after?

According to the countless songs, movies, and books, I’ve been exposed to, it seemed like fairytales come true when you know you have met the person you love; the person you were going to be with forever was just one day gonna show up at your door and you’d fall in love, have two wonderful kids, and die happily holding each others hands. Of course most things either leave out that last part or make them go through a brutal break-up or make-up phase. 

But I didn’t want the kind of love that the media exposed to the rest of the world. I wanted something that’d be purely right for me. I didn’t want some kind of perfect happy-go lucky relationship because where’s the fun in that? I wanted to be happy, yes, but perfection isn’t what other people make it out to be. It’s when you decide things are perfect that they really are. And when I find that, I know I’m in the right place. 

A dull pounding resided in my head. I took a couple deep breaths, regaining my spot in reality and out of my head. It seemed like this would happen a lot. I’d let my mind wander too far and then wake up to the feeling of my head ripping itself in half. It couldn’t have been healthy. 

I was already stressed enough at it was with the pressure of being the one to gain money for our family. If I didn’t, we’d be dirt poor by now. That alone, gave me the occasional splitting headache and I wouldn’t want to be adding even more problems to my list

My phone buzzed from its spot on the other side of the room. Reluctantly, I staggered to my feet.

_1 unread text message._

Mom?

I unlocked the phone, only to find my heart lodged in the back of my throat. 

_change of plans brat. you still on for tomorrow?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, shoot me. I'm so sorry this took so long. hate this chapter. I hate this chapter so much. It's more of a filler chapter, which is probably why I dislike it so much. BUT the next chapter shouldn't be as bad (I hope). Anyways, thank you so much for all the kudos and hits (shout out to the people that bookmarked it!), they're highly appreciated. My tumblr's the same as my username if you were wondering. 
> 
> Anyways, happy holidays!
> 
> Tracking: insanityaligned

The first thing I did was cry.

Honestly, I don’t know what triggered it. And whether it was tears of joy or tears that I had to look at him and feel my jeans get considerably tighter, unable do anything about it, I don’t know. Maybe it was none or maybe it was both but right then, the sobs of relief were deemed too overwhelming to comprehend anything else. 

The night following that episode was restless and frustrating, as when I dragged myself to work the next day, ragged and tired, I could only hope it would wear off when night fell.   
The giddy feeling returned again, which Mikasa noted with great fascination. I told her she was overreacting again but the only response she had to that was as to why I was suddenly eager to work. 

I wasn’t eager to go to work, however. Right then, it was the last thing I wanted to do. In fact, I wanted more than anything for my day to just skip ahead until I was off my shift. 

Apparently the world loved to torture me. The whole fucking day just lagged on and on. By the time lunch came around, I was itching to ditch the place for home, favoring a nice long shower as opposed to the muggy atmosphere in there. I would and from my minimal knowledge, Levi, too, would probably appreciate me smelling clean and not like freshly brewed coffee. 

My ears perked up at the sound of the door opening, my feet already pounding across the floor, my heart skipping beats. And before I could even calm down and think, they were right in front of me. “Levi!“

“Whoa there!”

My arms around their neck loosened from the bone-crushing hug. That wasn’t Levi’s voice. In fact, it sounded feminine. I stumbled backwards, stuttering strings of apologies, feeling heat rush into my cheeks. Yep, definitely not him.

The woman looked startled, though not mad, her eyes reading with something of a mix of confusion, amusement, and shock. Her lips were twisted into a half grin and I could tell by the way she bit her lip that she was holding in laughter. Glasses askew and hair drifting over her eyes, she seemed friendly enough, if not, a little frightening. 

“Hey, hey! Calm down! I’m not some kind of serial killer! I just wanted a drink!” 

“Ma’am, next!” The cashier said.

I watched as she ordered a small mocha as the girl at the register–Christa, if I’m not mistaken– hastily punched in her order and counted change. I give her a look of reassurance as I took a spot behind her and powered the coffee maker. She gave me a small smile in return, which I hesitantly reciprocated before attempting to focus myself on the task at hand. 

_Dammit. Fuck. Fuck. SHIT. I messed up. I messed up real bad. Like not a little but a whole fuckton of bad._

What the fuck was that? It was _Friday_ and from what I know, he doesn’t fucking come on Fridays. Not to mention it was way too early for him, anyway. We agreed to tonight. Not the middle of the fucking day.

My teeth gritted and I tried not to notice the woman casually flipping through a menu, mouth moving slightly as if whispering something to herself in regards to it. I really hoped she acted as nonchalantly as she appeared she would because if not, I’d be dead as soon as I served her. 

I wordlessly put down her cup and turned around to be my socially awkward self. 

“Sit.” Her voice was soft but demanding. 

I slid uncomfortably into the seat, feeling her gaze on me. 

“We don’t happen to know the same Levi do we?”

A spark went off in my mind when I heard the mention of his name. I switched my gaze to her a little too quickly and she let out a sudden burst of laughter. 

She waved her hand around, dismissing the thought. “Nah, forget it. That’s ridiculous. The hell was I thinkin–“

“What Levi do _you_ mean?” the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

She raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips together. “Well…He’s about this tall…” She gestured about a foot high off the ground and when I gave her a disapproving look, she laughed and raised her hand to about 5 feet. “Yeah, you got me! Anyways, he’s got a real mean glare if you get on his bad side, which, unfortunately, is where I am. Or maybe it’s just his normal face…I don’t know but that’s beside the point. He’s got an undercut and…eh…Black hair, black eyes, black soul–“

“Okay! I get it.” 

She picked at the rind of her cup. “So what d’ya think? Same guy?”

I gripped the sides of the chair, knuckles turning white. I crafted her description, Levi’s face bright in my mind. It was no doubt it could be him. But… no. I had to have been some kind of strange coincidence because it’d be way to fucking lucky if I’d met some weird-ass acquaintance of his. He didn’t look like the kind of guy that had many friends so on the off chance you met one, you’d have to be luckier than a multi-million dollar lottery winner. 

“Y-yeah. Maybe.”

“What do you mean maybe? It’s ‘yes’ or it’s ‘no.’”

“There’s not only one Levi in the world! It could be anyone!”  
“Yeah, you’re right. He doesn’t have friends…Hey!”

I jumped at the sudden exclamation. 

“You know, I might have a…give me a second.”

She plopped a large purse onto the table, obscuring my view of her face. As she rummaged through it, I heard the crinkling of paper and objects clinking together, making me question what was actually in there. I watched in slight fascination.

“There we go!”

Her phone looked banged up and definitely in need of replacement when she showed me a photo on her cracked screen. 

I immediately went red, either from the crush or secondhand embarrassment. 

It was definitely the same Levi alright. But this one’s face was abnormally close to the camera lens, an aloof grin covering his expression. A faint pink dusted his cheeks and in the other hand, he held a bottle of something I presume was alcoholic.

“Sorry about the crappy photo. He made me delete all the other ones so the only one I had left was taken when he was drop dead _drunk_.”

“That’s him… That’s the guy,” I managed. 

“Really? Wow…. Oh! I forgot to mention. I’m Hanji. Hanji Zoë.” She grabbed my hand and shook it to such an over-excess that when I finally regained control over it, my fingers buzzed with numbness. “And you?”

“Eren Jaeger.”

Her eyes blew wide. “ _Eren?_ As in _the_ Eren?” 

I reluctantly nodded, cramming my hands in my pocket to hide the clammy feeling rising into them. _Zoë…Zoë…where have I heard that before? Wait…should I answer her?_ I snuck a peek to find her impatiently awaiting an answer, leaned forward against the table and biting her lip in anticipation. 

The woman, Hanji, adjusted her glasses. “See, Levi’s always going on and on about ‘this little brat named Eren’ and goddamn does he not shut up.”

My heart sank.

_A little…brat?_

Was that all he thought of me? Am I that kid working at the café who makes shitty coffee that he drinks anyway? 

“He locked himself in his house with a shit-ton of alcohol last night and even after a fuckload of calls, he never fucking picked up. Asshole’s gotta get his priorities straight because last time I checked, I’m more important than his moping around.”

“Why’d he do that?”

“Don’t know why, but it was real fucking weird. I was kinda hoping he’d come ‘round here so I could ask him but…eh…no luck, I guess.”

_Zoë…_

“Oh! Right! A couple weeks ago he said you’d pay for his coffee.”

“Really?” She dug a wallet out of her bag and flipped through it. “Asshole’s trying to run me out of house and home at this rate. You know he’s already done that twice this week?” She handed me a twenty. “This is for me and him. Sorry that’s all I’ve got on me right now. Keep the change.” 

I nodded and muttered a quick ‘thank you’, stuffing the bill along with my hand back into my pocket.

“He’s a strange character, eh?”

“Yeah…I guess.”

“He’s always been like that. Well, after a few years, you kind of get used to his bullshit. Don’t worry, Eren. You’ll get used to it. I presume you’re gonna see him again?” Her hands folded underneath her chin. 

“Well, yeah… I’m seeing him tonight actually…”

Her eyes blew wide, sparkling with curiosity, “Really? A date? Levi actually got himself a _date?_ ” Her arms flew around me and she shook me back and forth. “Christ this is great! Where is it? What are you doing? You know he hates it when things are dirty so it better spot-fucking- _clean_ or else. Oh! And–“

“Jesus! Get off me! It’s not a date!”

“Oh…well shit…sorry.” As she receded away from me, I could still take out that she resisted the urge to ask more questions. Apparently, I had a special skill of knowing people before I actually know them. 

“Well what is it then?”   
And there it is.

“None of your business!” 

“I’m just trying to look out for a friend, okay? I won’t pry if it makes you so uncomfortable that you’re bright red.”

“What really?” My hands immediately shot up to my face where the said ‘redness’ adorned my cheeks. 

“Kidding, kidding! Well if you weren’t blushing before you definitely are now!” She glanced at the wall clock. “Whoa! Where’d the time go?” She grabbed my hand, shaking it again. Glasses sliding off her nose, she winked at me.

“It was nice meeting you, Eren! Sorry it’s so sudden that I have to leave but if you ever need anything, give me a call, OK?”

She threw a wadded up ball of paper at me. The way she half walked- half skipped out the door left me feeling even stranger than I did before. So we’re friends now? When did this happen?

It wasn’t long before I had carelessly thrown away the piece of paper into the trash.


End file.
